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Mind Over MatterMe: Oh, hey! Someone wants to talk to me.
Mind: Oh, and who would that be?
Me: Huh... Well it's Rae, of course.
Mind: So you're going to answer that?
Me: Yeah...why not...?
Mind: Well I don't know, you kind of tend to do some stupid stuff. Like, really stupid things. Things that no one in their right mind do.
Me: So? Everyone's a bit different. What does that matter?
Mind: Well, you're too different. Foreign is not good.
Me: How is it not good...
Mind: Honestly? Are you this stupid and naive that you don't think that there aren't people out there that just want you to shut up?
Me: Well if they're talking to me first though...
Mind: Ha! What does that matter? You're just going to screw up again and then make them feel that.
Mind: Of course, again. You really are stupid. You don't remember all the other times that the exact same thing has happened?
Me: I'm not stupid, if I was then who would want to talk to me in the first place. All the people I know
Komui's Coffee Stash"KOMUI!" A young exorcist's voice could be heard ringing through the halls of the Black Order, "KOMUI, WHERE ARE YOU!"
If you were able to find the source of the echoing you would have found a giddy girl practically jumping off the walls. It was Allen's twin sister again; it sounded like she had gotten into the Supervisor's coffee stash...again.
She rounded another corner and took another deep breath, ready to scream her lungs out in a heartbeat. "KOM--"
A hand squeezed her shoulder gently, cutting her off before she could destroy anymore eardrums. "Aki, please." His eyebrow twitched in pain, "You aren't going to find him this way."
Akiko bit her lip quickly, it was really the only way for her to stop talking when she was excited. She fidgeted anxiously and opened her mouth again. "But, Allen--" she tried to protest.
He squeezed her shoulder once again, causing her to go back to chewing her bottom lip. "Here, how about I help you find him before someone else comes along and gets angry,
Seeing RedBloodied walls
You broke me
My strings've snapped
Are you happy now?!
You murdered me!
Broke my spirit!
I'm not perfect,
So what the hell do you want from me?!
I'm not some weak thing you can push around
I'm not some pitiful creature that's undeserving
I'm not some flaky clay that you can change into whatever the hell you want
...I'm not me anymore
...I have no soul
You ripped out what was left
The ashes are scattered
They were your sins
They were my arms and
That crushing Claustrophobia
Social Anxiety DisorderThere's this sort of pain that comes with going out in public. It isn't like any normal pain that everyone usually thinks of. If it was, most people would think I was insane for even suggesting it. The pain I'm talking about is a mental one; one where it may not seem like it, but I'm on the verge of tearing myself up over. My mind starts racing, asking the most ludicrous questions like, "What if they hate me?" or "What if I don't look good enough?" or even "What if someone else notices that I'm thinking these terrible thoughts?". The thinking really gets me nowhere, but it tears my up inside. I have no idea how to answer these statements and when I do I somehow manage to think of one, they're always something so depressing like, "It's obvious they want you to go die in a hole," and "It's obvious that I look terrible," and even, "It's obvious no one cares enough about you to even think about noticing."
It's self-abuse, I realize this, but sometimes it feels good. It feels good to yell a
LoveA burning passion for the lost
A wanting for the new
Emotions never seem to last
Life now seems very strewn
Seemingly hard to bear
Somehow, it has always turned out right
It might not seem that fair
But I promise everything just might
Someday something will come of this
Fate and judgement the only tell
For it is the source of all bliss
That no one can ever say or sell
Air, Water, Fire, EarthI'm going to die,
Disintegrate into pieces,
And blow away in the wind
My head is pulsing
My heart is exploding
My lungs are collapsing
I'm going to die,
Fall apart at the seams,
And float away to sea
My head is bursting
My heart is bleeding
My lungs are soaking
I'm going to die,
Crumble into ashes,
And burn in an orange glow
My head is melting
My heart is breaking
My lungs are splitting
I'm going to die,
And be buried beneath the ground
My head is settled
My heart is slackened
My lungs are quieted
Waiting for AnswersI dream of that one intoxicating tear
Drowning me in fear
What did I ever do to deserve this?
What did I ever do to deserve to lay in ruin,
Dragging myself along for the ride?
The closest seem not to care any longer
As the distant answer my cry
When did everyone start to forget
That I'm the only me?
That I'm unique
And deserve the right to be heard?
Why won't anyone start to care again?
I'm starting to fade away
Away from you
Away from all
Away from the world
My body crawls on as a hollow shell
As the rest of me has gone clear to hell
Where were you when this happened?
Were you the one taunting me?
The one teasing me?
The one who stepped over the line
The line that separated fun and harm?
As you can't believe this has finally happened
I'll be sitting here
Waiting for you to react
Waiting for you to try
Waiting for you to cry
Bu instead you don't do either or
As you stand there completely surrounded
By the fake of the world.
I've completely left
Broke out of the restricting hell
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More